Success & failures – Do they make or break us….
Success and failures are relative to the one talking about it. Both success and failures are associated with a standard set by us or others. Success is when a standard is met and failure is when it falls short. Choosing the right set of standards to follow is important in life. Success or failure is not decided by the outcome of a competition, marks we score or what we become or don’t become. Just because I did not meet the criteria’s of a certainty college or company or competition it does not hinder me from being successful in life.
In today’s world we can understand success and failure, in terms of a box which is defined by a set of standards. When we fulfill all the standards we are inside the box successful. When we fail to fulfill even one standard we are considered a failure. We need to move away from this mentality.
Others talk about my success first and I talk about my failure first it is never the other way around.
Coming from India where all that matters to parents are the marks, career and pay their children will earn in the future, I was lucky to have parents who created childhood memories while balancing and encouraging me to do what I wanted. We have decided the same for our son. The mantra in our house is do your best! Your best may not be as good as others, it’s ok. The best is also a common ground we have decided with our son and takes into account various factors relevant to the time of decision. We also believe in working hard and being smart in achieving results.
From my own life I have seen that to some I am considered successful and to others I’m a failure. Whom I spend time with determines how I consider myself, a success or a failure. Rather than considering myself a failure I have had feelingsof being inadequate which I feel is slightly better than feeling as a failure. When we feel inadequate we magnify our flaws. Came across this word ‘flaw some’ – being awesome in spite of our flaws. How we believe in ourselves and work towards our goals determines how successful we are in life.
Some guidelines …….
- Understanding and accepting ourselves with our strengths and limitations and working towards a logical goal outside our comfort zone is what will help us be successful and flaw some.
- Success is in our hands and we define it not others.
- We are not defined by the success and failures in our life.
- Those around me will not share my vision; it’s ok to be swimming against the tide, sometimes alone.
- Be aware of what works and doesn’t work for us. One size doesn’t fit all.
- Long term goals are long term, sometimes we will not see immediate results which is frustrating, it’s important to stay motivated. Breaking our long term goals to small achievable intermediate goals with deadlines is encouraging.
- It’s not worth being hard on our self when we don’t achieve our results, it’s better to look at it as a setback and not a failure.
- As parents it’s very important that our children see us as a confident successful role model.
- Children need to see parents handling setbacks, not going into a ‘failure mode’ but into a ‘success mode’.
- Its okay to fail but it’s not ok to park ourselves there. Failures are stepping stone to success.
- Being successful is good, again it’s not good to park ourselves. Pride in our success can lead to our downfall.